Alright, so I have probably officially failed NaNoWriMo by now. It's the age old problem of getting past 5,000 words, because I generally have no motivation to get past that. Especially since in my story it's Summer, and they're all being happy and homoerotic in Rome and eating a huge box of Kinder they bought at the duty free. Fuck you, characters! You're supposed to be miserable!
Thanks to several other things, my life lately has been about spending a great deal of time in bed, reading children's books and refusing to eat because I feel sick all the time.
I am basically a sober Sebastian Flyte, and by sober I mean for about a week now.
I have also been very angsty about queer issues, but I will spare you the ranting because that's not what this post is about, even though the one I drafted before it is (it's also about how much I hate Neo-Realist Literature, how much I love Percy Bysshe Shelley, and how I think fans of Milan Kundera are generally pretentious shits).
No, gentle reader, this post is about one of those things I do very often when I want to procrastinate life and everything in it: watch movies. You see, I'm very passionate about film, even though I don't have a favourite movie (Velvet Goldmine is probably it, though). So passionate that, for example, I like anything about glam rock, homoeroticism, or talking animals, but on the other hand I am very passionately intense about how much I dislike Eva Green, certain movies, and other stuff. This is because Eva Green is a terrible actress, and talking animals are really so much better. This is a Fact.
One of those movies I've watched lately is Salomé, the 1923 movie based on Oscar Wilde's play of the same name. For those unacquainted with this play, it's absolutely marvellous and sexy*.
Most reviews start by explaining that this movie pretty much single-handedly put an end to the career of Alla Nazimova, the actress who produced this movie that was insanely costly for an art house work. She also stars as Salomé, and was often thought to be a lesbian, which is relevant because the fact that most of the cast was rumoured to be gay helped the movie be a complete flop. Something else that may have contributed to the epic failure is the fact that it's beautifully decadent, and probably very much ahead of its time.
I can see why reviwers think this worth mentioning. On the other hand, nothing could really have prepared me for what I was about to see. (Cue eerie music.)
Indeed, this movie is over one hour of Aubrey Beardsley's illustrations for the play effectively coming alive. I love the sets. I love the costumes. I want to live in Salomé's wardrobe and make sweet, sweet love to it. The version I watched was also tinted and the colours were surprisingly undisruptive but in fact added to the mood (unlike what happens in other movies; in this case I suppose it is more like in The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari).
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern will survive. They will survive! Many of the lines have been cut, however, presumably because they didn't translate well into silent movie format. On the other hand, the action still manages to convey them.
(Even still, I have mourned the loss of my favourite part. Those of you who don't know the play may want to avoid spoilers by leaving now. When Salomé finally gets the head she asked for, she says:
SALOME: [Holding the severed head of Iokanaan.] Ah! thou wouldst not suffer me to kiss thy mouth, Iokanaan. Well! I will kiss it now. I will bite it with my teeth as one bites a ripe fruit. Yes, I will kiss thy mouth, Iokanaan. I said it; did I not say it? I said it. Ah! I will kiss it now. But wherefore dost thou not look at me, Iokanaan? Thine eyes that were so terrible, so full of rage and scorn, are shut now. Wherefore are they shut? Open thine eyes! Lift up thine eyelids, Iokanaan! Wherefore dost thou not look at me? Art thou afraid of me, Iokanaan, that thou wilt not look at me? And thy tongue, that was like a red snake darting poison, it moves no more, it speaks no words, Iokanaan, that scarlet viper that spat its venom upon me. It is strange, is it not? How is it that the red viper stirs no longer? Thou wouldst have none of me, Iokanaan. Thou rejectedest me. Thou didst speak evil words against me. Thou didst bear thyself toward me as to a harlot, as to a woman that is a wanton, to me, Salome, daughter of Herodias, Princess of Judaea! Well, I still live, but thou art dead, and thy head belongs to me. I can do with it what I will. I can throw it to the dogs and to the birds of the air. That which the dogs leave, the birds of the air shall devour. Ah, Iokanaan, Iokanaan, thou wert the man that I loved alone among men! All other men were hateful to me. But thou wert beautiful! Thy body was a column of ivory set upon feet of silver. It was a garden full of doves and lilies of silver. It was a tower of silver decked with shields of ivory. There was nothing in the world so white as thy body. There was nothing in the world so black as thy hair. In the whole world there was nothing so red as thy mouth. Thy voice was a censer that scattered strange perfumes, and when I looked on thee I heard strange music. Ah! wherefore didst thou not look at me, Iokanaan? With the cloak of thine hands, and with the cloak of thy blasphemies thou didst hide thy face. Thou didst put upon thine eyes the covering of him who would see God. Well, thou hast seen thy God, Iokanaan, but me, me, thou didst never see me. If thou hadst seen me thou hadst loved me. I saw thee, and I loved thee. Oh, how I loved thee! I love thee yet, Iokanaan. I love only thee. I am athirst for thy beauty; I am hungry for thy body; and neither wine nor apples can appease my desire. What shall I do now, Iokanaan? Neither the floods nor the great waters can quench my passion. I was a princess, and thou didst scorn me. I was a virgin, and thou didst take my virginity from me. I was chaste, and thou didst fill my veins with fire. Ah! ah! wherefore didst thou not look at me? [She kisses the head.] Ah! I have kissed thy mouth, Iokanaan, I have kissed thy mouth. There was a bitter taste on thy lips. Was it the taste of blood? Nay; but perchance it was the taste of love. They say that love hath a bitter taste. But what matter? what matter? I have kissed thy mouth.
(Copy+pasted from here because I'm too damn lazy to type it up myself.)
Like me, Salomé seems to like hair. She likes hair very much.I mean, this is probably one of my favourite things Wilde has ever written. The movie, however, manages to still convey this without title cards when Salomé sneaks the severed head of John the Baptist under her cape and appears to be in some strange, wild ectasy over it all. I was still disappointed, because while the actor who plays John the Baptist is undoubtedly shirtless and has a nicely hair-free chest, he's still not hot enough to warrant naughty things being done to his head.
And what's up with his hair? Oh well, he's still shirtless and that's all that matters.The build-up of tension leading to the final scenes also didn't work so well in this movie, however, but once things start happening it is everything but dull. The sexual playfulness and tensions are palpable in the movie, and I really enjoy how it downplayed Herodias's influence in Salomé's decision. It also highlights Salomé's ambiguity, as a young woman, a virgin who is capable of being deadly and highly sexual; whether it's better to see it so blantantly or to simply see all her traits fusing delicately in Wilde's work is up for debate.
What is truly going on here is also up for debate.The whole movie also seems to feel much like Herod's court, a decaying, decadent thing. It's like the calm before a storm, something rotting away. The fact that Herodias looks a bit like a former Mötley Crüe groupie may or may not help.
That's Herodias, in the middle. "This reminds me of this one time when I downed a whole bottle of vodka with Nikki Sixx. Woohoo! Oh yeaaah! Baby, baby, baby!" There are also some very good-looking boys sitting around, looking surprisingly undisturbed.Finally, I really like John the Baptist in this. The last time I read the play was quite a while ago, and I don't know if it's very common to do this when it's staged, but he's a lot more sexual here. He's basically someone who doesn't want to succumb to temptation, but boy, does he feel tempted. He's borderline phobic, as though he's afraid of being pulled into the wantonness of Herod's court. That, I feel, makes him far more human and likeable (it also makes the whole scene feel uneasy and sexy, I'm not gonna lie).
In short, this is an unsettling, sticky sweet movie that everyone there at home should watch (cue commercial jingle).
Alright, I'm going to stop now because I can't even bother to re-read this, it's kind of a crap review and I don't want to be too spoilery. The screencaps suck because I used MS Paint. You can find the movie here, if you're interested.
* Your mileage may vary.
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